Week 2: Healing
Doctor, Somehow
“College preparation” appeared to be my father’s chosen label as his purpose for parenting, or at least it sure felt like that growing up. From as early as age 5, the repetitive voice of strong suggestion, actually insistence, telling me to “Go to medical school and become a pediatrician” lived rent free in my head. The physical voices changed in ownership ranging from my father, pappou (grandfather), mother, and nona (grandmother), but most loudly the two former. However, I wasn’t an easy child who would simply accept things just as I was told. As soon as I could talk I became extremely inquisitive, very analytical, often deep in thought, asking an innumerable amount of questions to parents who were kindly patient to my incessant inquiries. For a while I accepted my chosen fate of medical school, whether I wanted it or not, because I always knew that I wanted to help people.
As early in life as I can recall, my soul deeply longed to help people in whatever capacity, and just to simply be around them. By the grace of the Holy Spirit and the kindness of my parents, I have lived a life where I’ve always been inclined toward people who need help. I do find comfort in solace and quiet prayer, but more so when praying and communing in the presence of other people. I believe there are many ways to pray over people in conversion, in service, and even in silent company too. A magnificent book that I’m reading now, “Becoming a Healing Presence” (Dr. Albert Rossi), is having a massive impact on my prayer life, and my future as a healer. I’m understanding how to pray for others in the middle of my own conversations, while studying, while reading, even while teaching others. It’s a beautiful gift from God—to be able to pray like this, therefore we should cherish it, through the intercession of the holy saints who do just this.
What a beautiful gift it was as well, when in my early twenties I finally discovered who God placed me here to be–a healer. In any way that I can, I look to remove the burdens from others’ shoulders and reduce their suffering, all from the work of the Lord in my own heart. May He make me worthy as a vessel to heal through me, for all healing light comes from God alone. While I made the autonomous decision not to be a pediatrician when I was nineteen, I had actually been okay with my dad’s idea up until that point, due to my unrecognized desire to heal others. In my freshman year at Penn State University, it was my lack of mathematical inclination and skill, as well as my newly found disgust for western medicine and America’s pharmaceutical industry, that drove me away from medical school. Having loved all of my social sciences classes and their agency-related content, I then redesigned my plan for graduate school instead, so that I could help people in a different way, despite the disappointments of my father. Both of my parents came around to the idea of me becoming a clinical psychologist and it ended up bringing us all great joy for a while.
Awake, not Woke
My overwhelming desire to help others has led to so much joy in my life as well as pain, but I work continuously on not living in regret. My nature has allowed me to be easily taken advantage of as a child in many cases, and to not fight back when trying to help others who did not reciprocate the same kindness. However, despite enduring the trauma of being bullied as a “not-so-tough” adolescent, I now appreciate the lessons and experiences because as a result I’ve become a strong and well-rounded adult–certainly far tougher than many of my counterparts being emotionally manipulated in our clinical mental health field. I think we’re at the point where I have to speak blatantly now… A wise person once told me that “One can always see the indisputable difference between adults who suffered bullying as a child and those who didn’t”-C.S.T. In other words, he believes that kids who deal with human-inflicted adversity in one way or another grow to be resilient adults, and the evidence is undeniable. Certainly us Americans in a first world country have likely suffered far less traumas than our brothers and sisters in third world countries, but my personal experience was enough for me to develop a solid “bull-crap” detector. And of course (as my field has taught), I would never neglect the deep tragedies that many Americans have undergone–however, I acknowledge that our country has more resources and equipment to handle such physical and emotional devastation, something that communism-sympathizers don’t want to comprehend.
By the good grace of God I have finally been awakened enough to faithfully combat all of the ‘wokeness’ (ridiculous perspective derived from communist-inspired thought) that pervades my field of study. In my former college years, I was not so wise (as most children and adolescents are not), and fell prey to the agenda for a time. Due to my helpful, caring, and predominantly feminine nature, I was definitely more susceptible to the brilliant tactics of the powerful gender ideologists, motivated feminists, and critical race theory propagators. “Feminine”, is somehow a confusing word that’s tossed around often these days, isn’t it? According to multiple dictionary sources I’ve searched through (Merriam-Webster, Collins Dictionary, Vocabulary.com) “feminine” cannot be defined without using the most vague of definitions that include, “relating to female”, “characteristics associated with a woman”, etc. As of late I’ve begun to label myself as such firmly, which is usually followed with a confused look and/or a plethora of questions. No, I do not mean feminine in the sense of modern activist-feminism, and I don’t mean feminine in the sense of what one would call a “girly-girl.” I mean feminine in the holy sense, and I believe all women have a natural inclination towards the divinely gifted feminine nature.
I absolutely love leaning into my natural tendencies to nurture, to care for, to gently think through problems and difficult situations with honesty, selflessness, and empathy. That is Godly femininity. I believe it is for nurturing and healing, through multiple modalities. Now of course I’m not claiming to always lean into these God-given inclinations—I am very much a sinner with a constant need to repent. But, if you ask me, being truly feminine is exemplifying several fruits of the Holy Spirit, like taught in Galatians, 5:22-26. I believe that our perfect example of a female healer, in fact the female healer, is our Lady, the Holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary. She was the first person to say “Yes!” to the Son of God, therefore beginning the healing journey between God and mankind. Not only was she the first to accept Christ, but her very body and her faith are literally responsible for housing, birthing, and then raising the ultimate Healer of the world. She is my Blessed inspiration for true human femininity, as she should be for all Orthodox Christian women. The Lord could have done anything He wanted to bring His Son onto this earth, but He chose to use a righteous and faithful woman who exemplified divine femininity to help unite God’s nature with our human nature.
By the good grace of God I have finally been awakened enough to faithfully combat all of the ‘wokeness’ (ridiculous perspective derived from communist-inspired thought) that pervades my field of study. In my former college years, I was not so wise (as most children and adolescents are not), and fell prey to the agenda for a time. Due to my helpful, caring, and predominantly feminine nature, I was definitely more susceptible to the brilliant tactics of the powerful gender ideologists, motivated feminists, and critical race theory propagators. “Feminine”, is somehow a confusing word that’s tossed around often these days, isn’t it? According to multiple dictionary sources I’ve searched through (Merriam-Webster, Collins Dictionary, Vocabulary.com) “feminine” cannot be defined without using the most vague of definitions that include, “relating to female”, “characteristics associated with a woman”, etc. As of late I’ve begun to label myself as such firmly, which is usually followed with a confused look and/or a plethora of questions. No, I do not mean feminine in the sense of modern activist-feminism, and I don’t mean feminine in the sense of what one would call a “girly-girl.” I mean feminine in the holy sense, and I believe all women have a natural inclination towards the divinely gifted feminine nature.
I adore how my Orthodox faith has taught me so much in regards to honoring the Holy Theotokos, and understanding just what she means to humanity. I don’t believe that the Virgin Mary gets the credence she deserves in Christian faiths other than Orthodoxy and Catholicism. Non-Papal Protestant Christian churches tend to view Mary as a worthy human, but simply like the rest of us. She was just a good woman who the Lord used as “His vessel” to transport His son, and that’s it, which is so dishonorable and sacrilegious in my point of view. Many oppose and call the Orthodox Christians blasphemous for venerating/honoring Holy Mary and the saints, as well as praying for their intercession, but that’s because they don’t comprehend what intercession is, or the true depth of her part in salvation. To deny the Virgin Mary’s holiness and her perfect example of divine femininity is to deny Christ Himself and His ability to save humanity–but that’s another conversation.
As wonderful as feminine kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc. are, they can unfortunately make us women more vulnerable to empathetic rouses. These beliefs could perhaps offer an explanation as to why in 2020 (a LOVELY year…) 74.1% of registered democrats were women, and 71.2% were men, according to a Rutgers University study. Or perhaps why in 2022 the American mental health counseling field was made up of 68.6% female counselors, and 31.4% male counselors, as Zippia.com claims. I think it's also worthy to note that 15% of all counselors identify as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve been saying it for years and I’ll say it again–the modern democratic party of America was the most easily usurped by communism due to its failing policies and strong leaning towards “empathy.” These concepts and ideals are so attractive and convincing to younger generations because liberal/communist agenda is only strong in one out of three components of rhetoric; pathos. What can you do when you severely lack in logos and ethos?—why, emphasize pathos to an overly-coddled, hyper-sensitive couple of generations of course!
Truth-Dysphoria
That’s where they began to get me when I first took my “Gender and Feminine Studies'' course, second semester at Penn State. In my psychology program, where I wanted to learn how to treat mental illnesses, is where I first was required to learn outlandish ideas like “children born into the wrong body with gender dysphoria”, “gender-queer”, “trans men that can get pregnant”, and the kicker– “how surgery is the only possible cure for gender dysphoria.” A bright, open-minded, eager-to-learn, and very sensitive 19 year-old, I believed my professors. I assumed they knew what they were talking about and certainly offered me quality research because they came in the name of empathy. I didn’t question much about whether this population of LGBTQ+ patients were relevant to my future career, or if they were very relevant to the psychology field at all, but assumed it was so because of how heavily these lessons were emphasized by my professors.
Grappling with so many moral and life-altering concepts in my developing mind, I naturally had some quarreling thoughts like “Isn’t homosexuality condemned in Scripture?...But my best friend (at that time) is gay and she seems to be a good person. Can you be a good person without being a Christian, because all these professors seem to be good people and none of them are Christians…Does the Bible even say anything about being transgender? What is this ‘honoring someone’s reality’ that all my psych professors keep talking about?...How is it not a choice that these patients take hormones and receive surgery when there’s clear autonomy?…All of these psychologists really seem to be empathetic and want to be healing people, so they must be doing the right thing, right?”, and so many more questions/thoughts that got dragged out for years. As my grades and understanding improved in these classes I felt increasingly prepared for my future career as a counselor. But the more prepared I became for the world, the less prepared I became to be a true healer. If I had continued down the same path that the mental health field still wants to lead me down, I’d be no healer for God. I’d be doing harm to my future clients, so how could I later look the Lord in His eyes and tell Him that I’ve done my best to help his children? I couldn’t. I couldn’t.
Works Cited
Collins Online Dictionary | Definitions, Thesaurus and Translations, www.collinsdictionary.com/us/. Accessed 9 Mar. 2024.
“Find out How Strong Your Vocabulary Is and Learn New Words at Vocabulary.Com.” Vocabulary.Com, www.vocabulary.com/. Accessed 9 Mar. 2024.
ROSSI, ALBERT S. Becoming a Healing Presence. ANCIENT FAITH PUBLISHING, 2021.
Webster, Noah. Webster’s New International Dictionary of the English Language. G. & C. Merriam Co, 1959.
Rutgers University :: Department of Political Science, polisci.rutgers.edu/academics/undergraduate. Accessed 9 Mar. 2024.
“Zippia.” ConsumerAffairs, www.consumeraffairs.com/business/zippia.html. Accessed 9 Mar. 2024.
